Food Without Morals

February 21, 2010

Brownie Bites

Filed under: Brownies,Food — by Katie @ 3:53 pm

Since I have been VERY GOOD, and posted two, count ’em, TWO savory recipes in a row, I deserve this one.

IT’S MUFFIN TIME AGAIN.

Okay, some people may bring up that these are brownies, and those people would be right (also: jerks). But I thought these would be adorable if only I baked them in a miniature muffin tin, and then I could show them off to all my friends, and they would realize how unappreciated I’ve been all along, and the popular kids would finally ask me to play foursquare with them at recess.

Then I laughed and laughed. That scenario is ridiculous: I don’t have any friends!

Start with one cup of chocolate chips- semisweet would be best, but I had milk on hand, so I used them. I love this measuring cup; I was at my Aunt’s when I made these, and she has all of the awesome bakeware that my Mom took to the dropoff/pickup at the dump years ago. Also, does it bother anyone that I cook in four different kitchens? Because it kind of bothers me.

Add half a stick of butter (that’s four tablespoons, and two ounces, don’tchya know?) to the chocolate. In a separate bowl. Don’t try to fit the butter in the measuring cup, it will only end in tears. YOUR TEARS

Melt yo chocolate and butter in the microwave (or on a double boiler if you’re industrious/have a dishwashing fetish) until it is smooth.

Add half a cup of sugar to the chocobutter mix. I used the same measuring cup (I know, it’s probably highly inaccurate, whatevs) because I was feeling kitschy. I would have made an excellent Stereotypical Fifties Mom, except my nose started to run and I wiped it all over my sleeve. Bet you wanted to know that!

DO NOT PANIC. You will be all, “What the eff is this crap??” but keep your pants on. Just keep stirring, getting all the sugar as mixed up as you possibly can. It’ll be thick, it’ll be hard, it’ll be double entendre, but it’ll come together all right in the end.

Add one egg. From a chicken. From the box or the chicken butt, I don’t care. PS: Lovin’ the IKEA counters, Auntie!

Now isn’t that nice? I told you it would all work out. But don’t trust me, because I’m totally going to screw you when we get to the flour! SUCKS

Add some hoity-toity vanilla extract. A teaspoon of it. ALSO GOOD: skipping the extract and adding a teaspoon of cinnamon. Oh my GOD, or BOTH. I have the best ideas (also the worst).

Oh, there was a teaspoon of baking soda in there, too. You know, FYI.

Look, you only have to add one cup of flour. And it’s going to be difficult, moreso than adding the sugar was. But it’s only one cup, you can do it! If you’re using a mixer or a spoon (read: don’t have an irrational love of whisks), this will be a billion times easier.

This is the final result. Not so much “batter” as “dough.” Oh man, I bet these would make bangin’ cookies with some more flour in them. But enough of my crackpottery! We got brownies to make!

Oil your pan really well if you’re making brownies this way. They poof up, and if the pan is not really, really, extremely well oiled, then when you try to remove them the brownie tops will come off (scandalous!) while the bottoms stay behind.

Alternatively, you can bake these in an 8×8 pan; it takes about twenty minutes.

When these came out, I was so optimistic. I even swirled on some melted chocolate and put an M&M in the center, because I didn’t know…

…that these would be approximately a bitch and a half to two bitches to remove. Lesson learned: be more liberal with the fat on the pans. Whatever, though, because the broken ones were still good. So good that I accidentally ate too many bottoms and some tops were left alone. Short, stout, requiring someone to lean on- I could empathize (unfortunately).

The pretty ones I drizzled with white chocolate and plated up. But I didn’t eat them! No, they had to wait so that they could be auctioned off at a church fundraiser later on. I don’t know how much they sold for because I had gotten conned into cutting the cake. Church fundraisers, man. You volunteer to help set up, and next thing you know you’re cutting cake for people who don’t want end pieces, or pieces with too much frosting, or chocolate.

Brownies
pretty sure this is a Good Housekeeping recipe
1 cup flour
1 cup chocolate chips
1/4 cup butter
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Melt together the chocolate chips and the butter. Stir until smooth; add the sugar. When combined, add in an egg, stir until combined. Add the vanilla and the baking soda, then add the flour. Spread in an 8×8 inch greased pan. Bake ~20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Alternatively, these can be baked in minimuffin tins, just decrease the time to about 10-15 minutes.

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